We have a big meeting with the school tomorrow to determine if Parker will qualify for services and what it will look like if he does. But for some reason, I am uneasy heading into this meeting. I am not sure if it is because it is unfamiliar territory or just because this feels significant, but I have a pit in my stomach that I just cannot shake. I only want what is best for Parker, but in this case, I have nothing to determine what that is other than my gut. I am hoping that the necessary path will be made clear, but if it is not, I have faith that God knows what Parker needs, even when I do not.
Matthew 17:20 tells us that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed. It is no coincidence that a mustard seed is one of the smallest seeds. All we need is just a little bit of faith, but so many times, that is a significant amount of faith compared to what we have. I know that God is in control of this situation, and I have faith that He will do what is needed, but do I have enough faith? If I had enough faith, would I still be anxious? Would that pit in my stomach still be there? Are these all indications that I do not have enough faith?
Lord, help me to have mustard seed faith and to trust that you want what is best for Parker even more than I do. Even though this is scary, I want what you want in this situation. Help us to glorify you in the process and press into you. You are our comforter and the Prince of Peace. Comfort us in this time. In Jesus name.