Emotions and Expectations

So I had to order new jeans in a smaller size because my old ones were too big. That should be exciting, so why was I feeling depressed about this?

I have been working hard to gain control of my health and focus on diet and fitness to do so. I tried the supplement thing, and let’s be honest, I suck at remembering to take pills. So I am determined to succeed by sheer will power. I started in the middle of July, so it has been a month and a half. I have changed what I eat, and adapted recipes that I love to make them healthier. I have worked out more often than I have skipped, but I have still skipped a few workouts in there. I cannot tell you how much better I feel, just by making these two changes. So why do I feel like this?

Expectations. It is a bad word lately, because I realize in many things that I set unrealistic expectations. My weight loss journey is no different. I was hoping that for me to lose the weight that I was hoping to (75ish pounds) that I could diet and exercise for a few months and it will all fall off. Now I know that is not how weight loss works, but that does not mean I changed my expectations based on this knowledge. It took me several years to put on all this weight, it will also take me a while to get it all off. That is not a change that will happen in the 6 weeks or so that I have been at it. It will take much longer than that. And in order to not gain it all back, these changes need to be lifestyle changes and not just short term changes that will end when I hit my goal. I know that. But I expect more of myself. They say that comparison is the thief of joy. Well the same can be said of expectations. If nothing I do is ever going to be good enough, will I ever be able to be content with where I am at? It is important to dream and have goals, but it is also important to be happy in the present and the progress that has been made, no matter how slow I may feel that is.

A big step in combating this feeling of discouragement is acknowledging what I feel and why I feel that way. I know my expectations and my emotions are not in line with the truth of the situation, but my feelings still need to be acknowledged. I do not need to focus on them, but I need to acknowledge them so I can move on. My emotions do not control me, and I will not let them. Just because I feel one way, that does not mean it is based on truth. When these feelings come at me, I choose to focus on the truth.



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